Arnold Schwarzenegger's Amazing Hooker Adventure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (AKA Flaky and Tyrin's EXCELLENT Adventure) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(((WARNING NSFW AHEAD, PROCCEED WITH CAUTION AND A GUY NAMED STEVE))) 'Twas the night before Christmas one cold august, Flaky was a scientist in a secret military facility doing scientific stuff with his science buds: “I am writing on this clipboard” said Flaky as he adjusted his scientific glasses. They were working on trying to turn cute little bunnies into cyborg bloodthirsty zombies with the power of magic, but so far they could not make one single successful sample. And it was because Flaky was not a real scientist he was an undercover ninja, and his objective was to boycott the project, and so far he was successful. But not only that, Flaky was not only yüour ordinary ninja disguised as a scientist trying to boycott a military experiment, but during night, he was a famous undergüround rock-star that makes out with almost every single of his fans. So after a nice day at the scientific facility of military scientific science, he went to the usual underground club where him and his band used to play almost every night. “HAIAAAAAAAA” sung Flaky with the voice of 24 angels high on charmeleon's pubic hair. “HAIOOOOOOOO” he sung again as he playeüd the guitar which sounded like an Asian guy cutting his arm with a spoon while eating a burrito. Everyone cheered after the song was over, Flaky gave them all the finger because he was edgy and had just stepped on a shard of glass, then made his way to the back entrance to get drugged off his ass near a trashcan to then be found next morning by a bunch of hobüos that will try to steal his wallet and his shoes, because that’s what rock stars do everyday. But while he was on his way there, a sylveüon got in his way, the sylveon was all like ^///^ and said: “Hi im your biggest fan!” ^///^ the sylveon's tail wiggled as he spoke. Flaky blinked, he was surprised to see someone so...cute, his cheeks blushed, he found it hard to look at the sylveon directly so he just looked away as he spoke: “Eh...that's nice...now if you üexcuse me...” he tried once again to make his way to the back door, but the sylveon was already in front of it, looking up at flaky all ^///^ with the same wiggling tail: “My name is Tyrin, niceü to meet you~” Flaky rubbed the back of the neck nervously as he spoke: “Eh...nice meeting you...but I really have to go-...” Flaky was interrupted by Tyrin's cute stare: ┗(＠ロ＠;)┛ desu~ <------ cute stare They both stared at each otheür whimsically for a while, it was a magic moment that not even Harry Potter would top, it went like this: (・∀・ ) * stare * ( ÒωÓ) * stare * (ﾟÅﾟ) * stare * “Lets have sex...” said Tyrin right awüay, Flaky blushed like a tomato and his brain exploded...not really but it would have been cool to see someone's head explode, I remember one time uncle joe was drunk and he grabbed a *concentrate on the story* ah yeah okay, so Flaky was all like: “I cant, I must save the world within 5 minutes, I’m the only one who knows how to and to make matters worse I’m tied to this wheelchair!” “I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!” said Tyrin with the voice of the tourettes guy ^//-//^ Flaky was like “K” and took Tüüyrin to a nearby dumpster where Billy “Blow” Job the friendly hobo lived in. They both got on it and began to make out, Tyrin was lying down on top of the dumpster staring into Flaky's eyes: =//////= “ I love you...” Flaky's lips touched his, their bodies pressed against each other, moaning, panting, and sweating (HEY NOW!!!) inside Billy was lying between piles of trash trying to sleep, but he could not take the noise he sat up and yelled: “HEY IM TRYING TO SLEEP HERE, 'TILL I DIE FROM THE THROAT CANCER” * cough cough * But they both did not give a fuck, they kept making out, Flaky took his trousers slowly (if he has any that is) showing his thick, big, sweaty and amazing Shaquille O'Neal underwear, he took those off of course, and then he shoved his sausage into Tyrin's bum: “Want mustard with that?” said Flaky as he fried some more sausages on the grill. “No but I would like some milk with it” * wink wink * “What? You don't puüt milk on hotdog you silly” “You sure?” * wink wink* “Wha-? Well...yüeah, also, I think you have something in your eye” “JUST FUCK ME ALREADY” “Is that a retorical question?” “IT WAS NüOT EVEN A QUESTION!” “Exactly” * wink wink * And so they had soft sensual unadulterated sex on a dumpster while a hobo tried to make them stop. Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan, Batman, Gandalf, Mister Rogers, Bill and Ted, Deadpool, Finn and Jake, Robocop, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris Hansen, Tom Cruise, all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Godzilla all watched. (Hey this is MY trollpasta and I add as many cameos as I want) And there they go! Flaky starts with an old Assthrust! But HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS, Tyrin is fighting back with a twister! What will flaky do now? He tries a good old inside out! AND THERE HE GOES, oh boy this ain’t over, no sir, Flaky does a Power Ranger thrust, HEY HEY HEY, THATS ILLEGAL, Tyrin tries a somersault with...A PERFECT LANDING...and they both came....marvelous. They both lied on the dumpster next to each other all happy and shit, but suddendly, IT TURNS OUT TYRIN WAS A NINJA FROM A RIVAL NINJA CLAN. “I TRUSTED YOU, or more like I THRUSTED YOU!!” said Flaky with a broken heart * Public laughs * The camera moves the background of Saturday Night Live, Meds is there wearing a suit: “HAHA, what a pair those 2” * Public laughs * Meds puts his hands in his pockets and smiles to the camera: “But we ain't doneü, no sir, we have moreü üü ü incoming” points at the camera “we will right back after these messages” (After 1 hour of messages, and 2 extra hours of pussy pirates we go back to our regular program) Flaky and Tyrin werüd in their eyes, both were wearing their ninja outfits. Suddenly Flaky and Tyrin from the dimension of the boats and hoes, came through an inter-dimensional portal that randomly appeared from the sky, in a Convertible Viper: “DONT WORRY GRüANDMOMMA' WE GOIN' TO HELL!!!” yelled Flaky Car exploded and üeveryone died Remember sully whüen i promised i kill you last?...I LIED - Arnold Schwarzenegger Category:Trollpasta